Control

Control is the illusion of the uncomfortable
With the unceasing floating of our place
In the world
And I feel its waves washing me out
to somewhere
Unknown
But I can swim
I can swim
I can swim
I do not where
Where i will go

I do not pretend to know the map of what comes
Its contours and its markers
Even as my body's every anxious knot yearns for its every detail
My heart wants to know who I will love
My arms and head want to know what they will work
I am uprooted
But not without roots
I am displaced
But not without place
I love her deeply, still, but I know our task
I know it “may not always be so”
I bow before the sublime vastness of the world
and Being
and all that I am yet to know, yet to understand
(Even Knowing is Controlling)
And I give it away finally, as if I ever had it
As if it were something to hold, exchange and give
But we learn now, and we learn and we learn
Until we know Or until we have figured it out

Still, I place one foot after the other
I wake every morning
Sometimes reluctant to meet its newness
But I feel,
But I feel
I am strong
I am brave
I am me