Love Lost

A million chances
    maybe more
Counted, uncountable
     on fingers and toes
On bullet points and
     journaled lines
Unexpected texts
     Surprised encounters
Afternoons together,
     Nights apart
Mornings waking, embraced
     Sharp, harsh word upon
word
The endlessstormingof
     Tit-and-tat
Fighting
     Fighting
          Fighting
Fighting
      Fighting
          Fighting
Fighting
      Fighting
          Fighting
Figh
      Ting
Ting
       Figh
T
    i
n
        g
It felt like

     Eternity

Eternity in eachmoment
     Every
discrete
moment
this and all
moments

A millioneternities
in
     one
Now
     Gone,gone
               Gone,gone
Gonewhere?
Turned tonothing?
Turned todust? woodchips?
Dirtontheroad
Hiding? disappearing? disappeared? eliminated? submerged? suffocated? drowned? defecated? shot? shit? pissed? fucked? vanished? deleted?
Hid behind leavesontrees, under rugs, under coffee mugs? rocking beds?
Leaving impressions, residues, images seared on minds and objects and hearts

An archive (archives) of the soul, of souls
Lost forever in the movement of whatmustbedone
Dreaded capital, rearing its unceasing self in anticipation of
The new, devouring what comes and leaving behind
The lost
Love, Lost
Don’t tell me about paradise.

Why must we feel? When did we agree
    To the hurt and the hell and the pain?

To beiNg rocked
by an ocean
ofloveandloss

I chart a course through uncertain seas
     foaming watering seeping inandthrough
cracksinthehull that weneverwantedtosee

I gather every ounce
of myself
I face the
Oncoming

A wave threatens,
    A shadow
casts
a pall
Allisforeboding
But I defy